Right now, Nick is in his “honeymoon period.” That means his pancreas is still producing some insulin (though not enough to function normally) and his blood sugar is more easily managed. Although he did have one extreme low a few days ago, for most of the last couple weeks, taking care of his diabetes has been much easier. This “honeymoon period” is common in newly diagnosed diabetes. I am simultaneously glad to be able to relax and concerned that we (as a family) will neglect to take Nick’s condition as seriously as we should. He seems so fine; it’s easier to forget things when his needs aren’t in the forefront of our life. He’s been more forgetful, too: left his insulin kit at Tin Can Mailman, his blood sugar monitor at Luzmila’s, his insulin at home today. Fortunately, each situation worked out – we were able to retrieve the forgotten items and he ran around with a friend at the park to lower his blood sugar – but we should be making a habit of becoming more prepared, not less.
Adding 30 hours a week to my life has been as much of a challenge as I expected. The drive would be annoying, except rounding the bay is such a beautiful way to start the day; I experience little Zen moments en route to Ferndale. I have a lot to say about public vs. commercial vs. community radio and my experiences therein. Hopefully the words will leap from my brain to the keyboard to the paper before too much more time elapses. Finding myself in commercial radio is unexpected; finding myself in a commercial station with a greater focus on community than the public station is even more unexpected – and more rewarding than I would’ve thought. But the toll on the family and the learning I have to do – I feel like the 1960s are alive and well. Not the Summer of Love ’60s, but the earlier ones, when housewives were trying to join the workforce without letting their homes decline or their marriages suffer. I also feel old, behind-the-loop on the technology, not out of ignorance, but out of a lack of time. I can’t afford to hang out, intern, play around until I get the music editing and computer programs figured out. I have to do all my learning on the fly, in the four hours that I’m also doing live radio. I love what I’m doing there, believe in what I’m doing, but still, I find myself frustrated by all I don’t know how to do. I can see what I want to be doing, but I don’t yet know how to get there – and certainly none of the other demands in my life are going to ease up any time soon.
Only three times this month have I been in the water. Pathetic. Some days, most days, have been too big. Some days, many days, I haven’t had time. Whatever – excuses are just that. Tomorrow, if Bobby will stay with Nick, I’m going to surf Camel while the girls are at horseback riding lessons. The conditions look promising. My new mantra is “confidence!” I’ve caught a lot of waves. My body can do this. I just have to remind my mind of that. So tomorrow, I need to go out and take off on anything with the least bit of promise. Just paddle hard and commit. Ignore the Thanksgiving spread developing across my belly and surf like I’m in kickass shape. Free your mind and the rest will follow, right?