I’ve come full circle. Originally I believed in New Year’s Resolution, in the power to start fresh. Hope would be renewed, second (or third or twenty-first) chances would come, the universe would smile upon me and finally offer the blessings of thinness, wealth and success I’d worked for. (“Peace on Earth” is for Christmas wishing; New Year’s is all about self-improvement.)
Then I got cynical. Unable to keep from rebelling against authority – even my own – I’d go on a diet and eat more, make a budget and spend more, mediate and explode later in the day with increasing frequency. And because now I wasn’t just blowing it, but Breaking My Resolutions, the erring felt even more unforgivable, even more emblematic of loserhood.
But now I’m back, confident that I Can Do This. I can make myself a better person, my world a better place. I can shed bad habits and cultivate new ones.
This is going to be the year I Do Everything Right.
It’s gonna be great.