insomnia #14

A reader recommended melatonin for the insomnia. I think I tried it before, but perhaps time to give it another go. I can’t remember the last night I wasn’t awake at 2 or 3 a.m. Nothing else is working: I exercise, I stopped all alcohol intake for three weeks, I barely drink coffee any more – even the Tylenol PMs’ effectiveness waned.

Of course, I did turn 40 last November. Perhaps this is just a sign that hormones are once again affecting my brain as my body transitions into its next phase.

Which is just a bit depressing.

On the good news front, the swell is finally dropping into my comfort zone – for days, if NOAA’s predictions prove accurate. I wish the upcoming week of 4-to-6-foot swells had arrived this past week while the kids have been on Spring Break. They could’ve been surfing instead of loafing, bored, around the house. Happy to take some chest-to-head-high waves in any form, however. And weather looks nice for tomorrow… er, today… which is especially great – first Farmers’ Market of the year!

Also Mad River Beach Clean-up at 9 a.m. I’m thinking I might ride my bike out for the clean-up before I have to drive to Ferndale to do my afternoon KSLG shift.

This writing does not exactly compel. Unfair that my brain is too spinning for sleep, but not sharp enough for elegance.

Bobby has read several books since the sickness hit: Sarah Vowell’s “The Wordy Shipmates,” Michael Lewis’ “Moneyball,” Gary Shteyngart’s “Absurdistan” and a couple others I can’t remember at the moment. For the first time in our 22 years together, he’s read more than I have! I’ve complained about his lack of interest in sharing books with me and now I’m the one trying to keep up with him. Oh, sure, he’s read throughout the years, but not voraciously – “like me,” she says with a certain amount of smugness – more like dabbling and rarely novels. “How are we supposed to get along when you won’t even read the same books?” I’ve pointed out. (Not that I was going to pick up any of his CIA/oil/politics/conspiracy/history tomes for the sake of shared interests.) Now I’m listening to him rave about books I’ve been meaning to get to for months. I’m the one suggesting we watch another episode of “Mad Men” only to be put off by, “Can we watch it tomorrow? I really want to finish this chapter….”

Slivers of silver falling from a lousy situation. Did I mention the medical bills have exceeded $81,000? If this had happened a year ago, pre-health insurance coverage, we’d be in a world of financial hurt along with the physical suffering. I don’t have words for how grateful, how relieved I am to have stumbled into a job that provides such solid benefits (and that I quite like, besides). Huge.

Meanwhile, Sandy soldiers on, belly still swollen, but spirits apparently high. She eats, she drinks, she wags her tail. She’ll go for a walk when her owners aren’t too intimidated by the wind and rain. I will spend what money necessary to care for her, but giving how rapidly the vet costs passed the $1,000 mark (36 hours to be exact) and how little information they can actually provide, we’re just keeping an eye on her for now, with the understanding she’ll have to go in if anything worsens. Poor sweet yellow dog. I am not ready for tough decisions regarding her. (Oh, if life would just wait until I’m ready before throwing stuff at me.)

Really good news: my computer-savvy friend solved the problem of Nick’s diabetes-management software failing to work. We can now upload info from his pump to the laptop, then share it with the UCSF doctors, increasing their involvement in the daily numbers. He’s still doing good overall, but with the whole teenage trip overlaid on top of the diabetic identity, my ability to communicate with him has been compromised enough to worry me. (Me? Worry?) And with a spate of newstories recently emphasizing the need for parents to maintain attentiveness as their diabetic kids get older, anything that helps ensure that happening, especially through the use of a third agent, minimizing the bizarre power struggles that characterize the parent-kid dynamic at this stage, offers significant relief for my sleepless self.

Kaylee’s art is and has been exhibited around Eureka and Arcata. Some of the shows I missed due to Bobby’s hospitalization, but we did admire her brontosaurus teapot in the window of Arcata Exchange last night, as well as her stencil up at Luke’s Joint (which is YUMMY, by the way – and that’s a vegetarian perspective!). She also has work up at Ramone’s in Eureka that I need to see.

Chelsea found a job, yay!, working at the Country Store up on Giuntoli. I’m so happy she’s back in a situation that will allow her to move forward, financially and as a self-sufficient, resourceful person.

Speaking of finances, I sat down to figure bills and budget for the next couple paychecks and remain amazed at how quickly expenses always manage to rise to meet income. (Or more precisely, how I always manage to justify buying the things I couldn’t afford before just as soon as more money comes in. Sigh. And I really, really do need a new surfboard for summer. And the kids need wetsuits. And we did have to spend all that money on the dog – and might again.) (At least my money concerns are more pedestrian these days. Last year I was desperate to come up with enough cash to buy food and keep the water on. This is a much better place to be.)

Off to read, maybe sleep. I have plenty of catching up to do with both.

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